[ caleb watches essek's face as he speaks, finds himself biting the inside of his cheek as essek speaks of secrets, of concerns, of the past, of the present. he couldn't agree more because in this moment he doesn't think he'd be ready to tell essek just what awful things he's done. the scourgers themselves... they are beholden to such terrible deeds, but caleb doesn't know how he would be able to explain the murder of his own parents by his own hand. the way that there is no justifying it, that caleb will be atoning for his sins for all eternity. ]

I do not. We may remain as we are for the time being.

[ in time, perhaps, in time he would ask. time is everything to essek, time is magic. he looks down at essek's hands, finds his own twitching just slightly. it's an impulse to move forward, to brush knuckles with the tips of his fingers and take essek's hands into his own. where his are rough, tried, burned and callused, essek's are soft, hairless, smooth and worn only between the fingers that clutch his pen.

(caleb thinks in the deepest recesses of his mind, oh to be that pen.)

he breathes out, nearly silent, takes essek's palms into his own and brings his gaze upwards. ]

Then we are in agreement, [ he says, nearly a whisper with how frightened he is of the overwhelming embers suddenly burning into a wildfire within his chest, smoking out every emotion through his teeth like a dragon. a moment of hesitation is but a moment as he dips his head, lifts essek's hands, presses his dry, chapped lips to the line of his knuckles quickly, a breath of a kiss before a blush colors his cheeks, his throat, sneaks beneath his shirt to anoint him in a heat of uncertainty but giddiness. ] I am glad that the air is clear... so to speak. Between us both. I don't want to dance around you, anymore, but with you.